January is a time for reflection and making plans for the year ahead, but many of us feel intimidated and disillusioned by the black and white nature of “resolutions.” Mel Robbins’ podcast presented some unique ideas to help you make realistic goals aligned with your values and desires in her recent podcast episode How to make this year the best year: Ask yourself these seven questions.

I’ve seen this podcast on SO many “best podcast” roundups but hadn’t gotten around to listening until a few days ago. I decided to spend an hour of the “no mans land” period between Christmas and New Years digging in to to this episode to see if it could help me gather my thoughts and create some new goals.

Full disclosure: I’d usually rather read an article than listen to a podcast-especially when the hosts get chatty-but I really wanted to see if this pod lived up to the hype. I decided to grab a coffee, pen, laptop, and notebook and try listening anyway. I found this episode to be insightful, helpful, and a fun way to reflect on the past year while planning for the one ahead.

In this blog, I recap all 7 of Robbin’s seven questions (TLDR style), then reflect for a bit on how they helped me gather my thoughts and make some concrete intentions for the next 12 months. Let’s get started!

Mel’s 7 questions

What were a few highlights from the year? Don’t just think about your “successes”, but things that brought you genuine joy.

Robbins suggests that you skim through your phone’s camera album or instagram feed through the past year and see what things made you feel the best this year. I love that she focuses not only on your external successes but asks you to look inside to see where you felt the best. This was super helpful for me and honestly, I surprised myself here. I put my pen to the paper and wrote out the first things that came to mind, stream of consciousness style. (I’ll share my answers at the end of this recap!)

2. What were the hardest parts of the year?

Next, Robbins asks us to quickly jot down memories that were the most difficult or felt like significant setbacks. She notes that this is supposed to feel uncomfortable and may make you feel a little sad. Don’t be afraid to dig in and feel your feels though. These melancholy moments won’t last long.

3. What did you learn about yourself?

After we’ve done a brain dump of last year’s highs and lows, we can start to analyze them. Take a look at both lists. Did anything surprise you? Were there any recurring themes? Look for any differences in the way you thought you would respond versus what you actually put on the page and think about how you can learn from them.

Take some time musing on your answers and get all your thoughts, feelings, and ideas down on paper. We’ll use the insights we gained from these first three questions to guide us to create actionable goals and habits with the last 4 questions ahead.

4. What are you going to stop doing?

Next, Robbins asks us to take the things we’ve learned about ourselves and put them into actionable steps using the Harvard Business School-approved “Stop, Keep, Start” framework.
I like Robbins’ approach here because change of any kind feels uncomfortable at first. By focusing on making small changes, we can improve our quality of life each day while still leaning into the slow, hibernation vibes that are more natural to this dark and cold time of year.

So, let’s dig in! Ask yourself what you can stop doing in the upcoming year. What didn’t serve us? What can we leave behind? Look back at the answers to your previous questions and make a quick list of any actions that you can let go as you start working towards your happiest future.

5. What are you going to start doing?

Now, we consider everything we’re going to start doing. What can you add to your life to help you move closer to your goals and bring more joy into your life?

Make these goals in a way helps you ease into the changes you’re creating. Think about how you can weave these changes into your existing routine. For example, instead of saying “I need to work out everyday,” create a concrete and realistic plan like “I want to the gym after work to strength train at least 2 days a week.”

I’d personally recommend too that you add more fun to your healthy changes. For example, going to a run club instead of working out alone in a gym is a great way to increase your fitness while socializing and meeting people with like minded goals. Be creative and try to shape these new “starts” in ways that makes you excited.

6. What are you going to continue doing?

Think about the things that have been working for you. You’ve probably already are doing a lot of things right, or maybe started to develop great new habits at the end of the year. What are you going to bring into the new year with you? Jot these down, celebrate these successes, and think about how you can continue to incorporate them into your life in the next year.

7. How can I start today?

Whether you made this list on December 20th or January 20th, the best time to start is now! Even if you’re reading this blog right before bed, you can still take tiny steps to set yourself up for success. Can you fill up a water bottle and set out gym clothes for a walk tomorrow morning? Get the coffee machine loaded so you’ll be caffeinated for an early start? Set out your journal or make a grocery list? All the little things add up to big successes, so start now!

What I learned

Here are my reflections on these questions so you can see how they helped me shape my goals and intentions for the new year.

What were your highlights for the year?

Focusing on the highlights that felt best helped me realize some interesting things about myself. Despite having a handful of objectively “impressive” achievements, trips, concerts, and events this year, most of the highlights that came to mind first were when I carved out time for ordinary, unglamorous moments.

I flipped through my phone photo album like Robbins suggests and started my list. My notebook quickly filled up with peaceful memories of long walks and coffee dates with friends, home cooked meals, trail runs, and nights teaching in the studio. I also loved spending time in art museums and galleries again, which made me wonder about how I could carve out plans for a creative practice.

A lot of small things came to mind also. Making syrups and different espresso drinks on weekends. Playing cars with my friend’s toddler in her living room. Reading a book (for fun!) under comfy blankets. I think having so little free time last year made me really cherish all these tiny peaceful moments.

One of my favorite parts of last year was teaching group pilates classes :)

2. What were the hardest parts of the year?

For me this was hands down getting COVID and at the beginning of 2024. I had high hopes to really add some speed to my races this year and because of long COVID, I ended up starting my training virtually from scratch and spending almost the whole year in zone 2 (aka very slow). My ego suffered for a while, but the slow running turned out to be pretty fun and i’ve been slowly working back into fitness for the last few months.

Also, the financial instability in my day job industry was rough. Layoffs were happening left and right and impacted a lot of people really close to me. I was very anxious and really buckled down taking different trainings and to develop niche skillsets to make sure that I stayed valuable as an employee. I learned a lot of worthwhile things, but this sucked up a lot of my free time over the summer and fall. My social life, creative projects, and fun in general took the back burner for a few months as I crammed in a bunch of new coursework to my already busy schedule.